2020-10-06 hourly 0.9

The Nature of Life(full episode)

Why is this Sunday service taking so
long oh Lord?
My tummy was rumbling so loudly that
I had to sneak a peep at Bro. Paul
sitting close to me to ensure that he
wasn’t listening to the rhythmical
sounds from my inside!
I woke up this morning just like other
days when I felt the sticky thing in-
between my legs.
Oh not again Lord!
I knew from that moment that I was
going to have to battle with
dysmenorrhea menstrual pain for the
rest of the day and I really hated the
I racked my wardrobe for drugs and
gosh! My fervin was exhausted. I
angrily threw the empty sachet away
and had a warm bath, getting set for
the Sunday service.
I had just concluded a three-day fast
and I was looking rather lean- but it
was worth it. It bordered on issues
concerning my life and I had to take it
I didn’t know how to hear God!
Well, most times after praying
fervently, I would just tell God to talk
to someone or reveal something to
someone else if he didn’t want to talk
to me personally and that was what he
had always done.
Probably I was just too filthy!
I had told him that in the service of
today, if he wanted to talk to me, he
should do so through all the
ministrations in the church- the choir
ministration, the drama ministration,
the message itself and all.
I was however shocked when the title
of the song the choir sang was
‘Holiness unto the Lord’!
I knew about holiness so well and that
was not my prayer point at all. I am on
the way to perfection and I am
carefully watching my steps lest I stray.
I didn’t want this choir ministration. So
as they ministered, it was just as if they
were pumping LaCasera drink into my
body system that made the body fluid
escaping my body to gush out as if
being pursued vehemently.
‘Let us jam our hands as our dear
father in the Lord, Pastor Idile takes up
the mic’ He announced in his usually
affecting tone. He was the reason for
my prayer- Tony!
I sighed deeply.
‘God, are you just going to talk to me?
Are you going to speak to me through
this man of God? I really need your
touch oh Lord’ I uttered silently as my
faith got revived again.
‘Touch me one more time oh Lord, yes
dear Lord, touch me one more time oh
Lord, I need the touch of the Father, I
need the touch of the Lord, touch me
one more time oh Lord!’ the pastor
sang in his baritone voice and the
awesomeness of the whole thing
pushed me down to my knees.
I just mentioned His touch right now
and the pastor is singing about His
touch too.
‘The service is definitely for me’ I said
so loudly that I noticed Bro. Paul
looking towards me but I wasn’t
moved. Who says this God isn’t real
and I would love to tell him to
He is good abeg!
The message snowballed and I listened
with rapt attention, slapping my laps
together so the pain in my tummy
would ‘gerrarahere’.
The topic was ‘Confused?’ -So apt,
touching and just like that.
Oh yes I was confused. Madly confused!
I said yes to Jean’s proposal last month
and the relationship had started to
bloom greatly until this Tony came
around that same week. He was a
serving corps member and he was
deployed to my area, so he worshipped
with us at the central church.
Since I set my eyes on him, my mind
had been in a real state of chaos. I was
just so confused that I decide to step
away from the choir group where he
was very vibrant so I could get things
I was going to the church that very day
and as I always did, I was dressed
gorgeously for the service in my
opened toes high-heeled shoes. As I
locked my car, I started walking as if
being pursued.
Just then, Sis. Jane called my name and
as I tried to turn back in order to
answer her call, I never knew a canal
was before me. My shoe nose-dived
into the canal but just like the slow
motion in any Korean movie, a strong
hand-held me and pulled me up with a
“Sorry ma” he said and I looked into
his small, milky face. I blinked
severally, trying to get my voice.
Who is this boy?
He bowed slightly before me and off he
went- but my eyes went with him!
I slapped my head to order that very
day to no avail especially when my
research told me he was just an
ordinary corps member.
‘He is just a small boy’ I thought to
myself but the turmoil in my heart
Whenever I went to the church, I
would take a spot in the choir room
where I would have the opportunity to
get a good look at him without being
noticed by anybody.
Whatever he did appealed to me. There
was a day that I saw him blowing his
nose. The way he held the tissue paper
was skilled! Funny me!
Immediately I realized that I wasn’t
getting things straight again, I had to sit
down, fast and pray well so that God
would speak to me. So, he would clear
my head and put the right thing in
‘Most time, we think we have arrived
and that it is time to settle down
because we have the job, beautiful
accommodation, money and all but God
is saying no! And you’ve got to wait on
him’ My pastor killed it. As I jotted the
point down, my body shook violently.
Pastor was stupendously right!
“What else are you waiting for my
daughter? You are well employed as a
lecturer. You have a degree in Mass
Communication and two Masters
Degrees in Public Relations and
Advertising respectively. What are you
waiting for? You are our only daughter
o and see how big you are. No one
would even believe that you are not 25
yet.” My mother complained bitterly
the last time we met.
My aged mother and father had been
my specimen for a good marriage for
many years now. Though it took about
four decades after their marriage
before they had me, the barren years
really strengthened their love.
Though I am very beautiful, I have the
dominant gene of my father. I am built
like a man- with well-built muscles, a
deep, bass voice and very hairy skin. In
my secondary school days, I was called
‘Miss Gorilla’
Although I battled with inferiority
complex for a long period of time, I
overcame because of my supportive
parents, my choice of career (My radio
voice was always being begged for) and
my unit in the church (Bass part which
made the songs beautiful).
When I wasn’t talking of any boyfriend,
date or fiancé yet, it was very natural
when my mum called for a dialogue
with me.
Jean was a single father whose wife had
left him for over five years after he
caught her in an adultery act for more
than three times. I taught his daughter
in her final year and that was how I got
to know him well as he requested for a
private lesson for her at home, during
the holiday.
Whenever I visited the beautiful house
of his, the way he ran around to
prepare food in the kitchen, set the
house in order, pet his daughter to
listen whenever I taught was
overwhelming. He was just too nice!
When he sat me down to say all he had
passed through in his marriage, pity
rose from my belly for him and I
opened my heart to him. I would buy
him gifts, go on picnic with him and
Sarah, his daughter and I would help in
the kitchen- his skills of combining
different ingredients to make
something extra-ordinarily was highly
In fact, when I realized I was in love
with him, I quickly told him about
Jesus and he was truly converted as he
wept for his sin.
When he proposed to me, I was
shocked. I really loved him but never
had I thought about getting married to
a man in his late forties. I told him to
give me some time and I really
calculated the cost.
His daughter loved me
He didn’t divorce his wife- she left him
He is now a Christian
He is good looking, accomplished and
wonderful to be with
What else would I need in a man?
I said a big, fat yes!
It all went well with us as we had
reported at the marriage committee in
the church and our meeting had been
adjourned to next week.
All seemed clear to me until I met
“I am going to teach you a song today. I
told earlier that it’s a special service
today so we are doing everything in
another style. Who knows maybe it’s
for someone her that this service had
been designed?” the pastor said again
and mouth agape, I nodded like an
agama lizard
My pastor is truly anointed!
He started singing thunderously
I will wait, wait, wait on the Lord
I will wait, wait, wait on the Lord
Learn my lessons well
In his timing he would tell me,
What to do,
Where to go
And what to say
The pastor’s voice rung in the whole
building as he sang till the whole hall
felt that move and there was the
outpouring of the spirit. I watched as
people fell to the ground, raised their
hands to heaven in total awe and
surrender to God.
I was too touched to pray!
Suddenly, something struck my heart
and as I held my chest to calm the pain,
a force pushed me down to my knees;
perspiration covered me from head to
toes- I was dripping; I shook as if I had
been suffering from fever for a very
long time, the goose bumps that
covered me and its tingling effects
refused to leave me as I gnashed my
teeth. No words proceeded from my
I moaned and moaned again.
There was a stir in my spirit – for the
first time! I was praying in the spirit.
Prayers that was too superb and extra-
ordinary for my mouth to utter.
‘Many of us say that the Lord can’t
speak to us and that we can’t hear him
because we are not worthy to be
spoken to by the immortal. We prefer
the pastor to hear for us even when
God is talking…He is speaking to you…”
The pastor emphasized on and on and I
suddenly realized the pain in God’s
heart when I limited His ability to talk
to me.
“The wall of partition is broken. Enter
in before him and like Jacob, wrestle
with Him in prayers. He needs who
would dare seek His face. Wait no
more, seek him! He wants to talk to
you. Stop doubting His ability. He is the
Lord God of all flesh. Is there anything
too hard for Him? Is there anything too
hard for God?” the pastor asked with a
stamp of his feet on the floor.
I cried!
My mouth opened and with my mouth
filled with gratitude, I gave Him thanks
for talking through me through the
Then I regrettably said I was sorry for
limiting him. For seeing Him as being
selective of whom he talked to.
“Who says there is no God?” I uttered
affirmatively as if I had a sword to
behead such individual. I stood up
from my kneeling position and joined
in the thanksgiving session that
followed the message session, wiping
my sweat off my face.
The joy in the face of every member
was unspeakable! It was glorious that
my heart kept stirring- the new
spiritual experience that I have got
from God during this service!
Blessed is the woman that married this
Pastor Idile!
Just like a video camera, my eyes
travelled through the church to look
for where Mummy Idile was seated but
I couldn’t sight her. My searching job
begun in earnest.
I saw her briefly that morning clad in a
blue suit gown and a gold hat. Where
could she be?
My eyes travelled to the gallery above
There she was!
There was a smile on her face but the
smile looked somehow.
Sad? Uncertain? Bitter?
I couldn’t figure what was wrong with
that smile but I knew it wasn’t a happy,
grateful smile. I looked on at her and as
she nodded severally, the light above
her shone on her and her face
glistened. I saw it clearly- tears!
What could be wrong with her? Was
God showing her a vision that is very
saddening? What was bothering her Oh
I felt she was supposed to be the
happiest woman on earth for having
such a vibrant man as a husband
especially with this wonderful
outpouring of the Spirit.
My spirit stirred again!
Was God trying to tell me something?
I placed my head on the pew in front
of me. I didn’t even realize that the
service had been brought to an end. I
was overwhelmed within me.
Something is just not right! What is it
oh Lord? Talk to me please!
I didn’t hear anything, I didn’t see
anything. It was just darkness I saw and
I heard the hooting of car horns
Isn’t God going to speak?
I heard on knock on the pew which I
was seated on. My eyes still firmly shut,
I smiled.
“Is that Jesus?” I asked, very happily.
Jesus had come to speak to me in a
very different way. Wonderful!
“Speak on Lord. You daughter
listeneth” I said when I didn’t hear any
“Very funny. Ok, it’s not Jesus o. It’s
His son” I heard a wonderful male
Eyes still shut, I racked my brain.
Jesus’ son?…Jesus has a son ?
Still in my fantasy, i asked on.
“Angel, you mean?” I asked and I heard
a very loud laughter.
I opened my eyes widely but it was
blurry because I had closed my eyes
firmly for a very long time.
When my sight cleared, right in front
me was Tony!
He had drawn a plastic chair and was
seated, staring into my face with a
funny smile on his face. He obviously
was not done making jest of me and I
felt so foolish.
“Sis. Precious, you are supposed to be
in the drama unit. You can really act”
he said and I smiled
What could I say now so this brother
wouldn’t think me weird?
“Well, you wouldn’t understand” I
managed to say and he smiled again.
The way his cheeks raised whenever he
smiled was beautiful and my heart
stirred again.
“I can relate to that. We just get to a
point where we are so confused that
we just want God to speak to us. We
become so desperate that God just
calms down and says, if I don’t talk to
her, let’s see if she would still stay.” He
said and I smiled
“Hmmmm, that’s profound!” I nodded
as the words sunk into my skulls.
“Yes my sister. When we so desire that
he speaks probably so we could brag
about it to our neighbors that God said
this or that to us, he withholds his
voice. Then, when we do not expect, he
would speak, he drops it gently and he
waits to see who cares to even notice
what He had done” he said on and I
watched on with great awe.
He paused and smiled
“Sister Precious” he called out and I
woke up from my fantasies again.
“Continue my brother. I am being
blessed” I said and he laughed, clasping
his hands together
“I am not a pastor o. this look you are
giving me be like say you think say I be
one kind apostle” he said again and we
laughed together
“But really, that was deep. So so
thoughtful! God bless you” I prayed
“You are very funny Sis Precious.
Whenever I see you, you remind me of
my mum. Your stature, your clichés,
your voice, your long hair, and your
funny talks, everything, just like her!”
he said and I blushed
“That’s wonderful.” Was the only
sentence I could utter
“Yes…why haven’t you been coming for
the choir practice? I had wanted to ask
for a long time now but whenever I
looked at your side when the service
ends, you would have gone. God held
you down for me this morning” he said
again and I shook my head.
Only if you know what these praises of
yours is doing to my heart right now.
Please, just stop abeg!
I stopped because I couldn’t face you!
Because of you
These thoughts filled my head but I
shook then off and smiled
“I will resume soon. I just had to step
aside for a while. Thanks for your
concern” I said and he smiled
“Ok ma. Thanks too” he said and he
stood up.
I felt bad of a sudden. I hope I hadn’t
said something that had made him feel
bad o.
“Which side are you going to if I could
give you a lift?” I asked in
compensation and he smiled
“Iwo-Road area” he responded, looking
down at me. He is quite tall…nice one!
“Ok. Let’s go” I said and as I tried to
start, I felt something wet down my
Stains…Blood Stains? Oh no! Not at this
I was wearing a white skirt since I used
heavy flow pad in the morning with the
mind that there couldn’t be any stain…
What s–t!
“Is anything the problem?” he asked,
concern written on his face.
“No. Let’s go” I didn’t want to appear
foolish. It might be the sweat that was
making me feel wet. I stood up
suddenly, checked the white pew and
nah! It was soaked with blood. I sat
down right back in the chair. My
perspiration started. My heart started
beating fast.
Oh why today o God!
“What happened that you suddenly sat
down?” He asked and I smiled faintly,
obviously embarrassed but grateful
that he didn’t see it.
“I just realized that I wasn’t done with
the prayers I was doing, I was praying
for somebody when you interrupted” I
said. Was that a lie? Well, maybe
partly. Forgive me Lord. I just had to
do it.
“Ok then. Thanks for the offer then.
Pray for me too o” he smiled again as
he walked away.
I heaved a sigh of relief.
“Let’s just assume that he is the person
sef, would this be the right way for him
to see me? Stained with my own blood?
No, that would only show him how
careless I am. I wouldn’t want that” I
said aloud, laughing with satisfaction
that I was not caught.
But I do I get out of the church like
I turned back and saw some men
counting the offering and all…why
wouldn’t they do that in the office ehn?
I turned forward and saw some others
too, discussing in groups. What do I do
oh my redeemer? I am done for right?
There was a tap at my shoulder and I
looked up- Tony
“Yes?” I asked, almost sharply. He
“You were supposed to be praying” He
said, almost in a challenging tone
“Yes and you are intruding” I said
defiantly. What a bother! He smiled
once more
“I have this for you. I thought of
sending someone but I found nobody
around. Please, don’t be offended” he
said, dropped a black polythene bag on
the white chair before me and off he
went before I could say a word.
I was perturbed.
What could be in the bag?
I opened and the contents of the bag
dazed me, leaving me in total shock!
A new pack of sanitary pad, a small
white towel, four sachets of water, a
roll of tissue paper and a small white
Tears streamed down my face.
Was I supposed to be angry at this guy
now or be appreciative? Which?
What an embarrassing day to
remember for me oh God!
A paper fell from the bag and I picked
it up.
I unfolded it even as tears clouded my
“I am sorry. I just seemed to find out. A
medical doctor would just know!”
Is this guy for real right now?
I folded myself in the corner where I
was seated as if something should take
a hold of me and make me disappear!
It was raining so profusely…
As the wipers of my car wiped the
heavenly tears of rain off my car, I
switched on the heater of my car and
hummed ‘Amazing Grace’ so happily as
my already cold-infested body came
back to life gradually.
Though the road through the
wilderness that I was driving through
was rough, I kept on driving
I didn’t even know where I was going
Just then, I saw some images afar off
and I slowed down to get a closer view.
When I couldn’t get a proper view, I
drove closer and peeped through the
Who am I seeing?
Jesus Christ!
Mrs. Idile, my pastor’s wife was seated
on a gossip chair on the road fully
drenched in rain. She was shaking so
vehemently as her teeth gnashed
against themselves.
I drove closer to her side but as I
opened the door , the breeze from the
windy rain was too much that I had to
close it back hurriedly.
How do I approach her?
Why was she in the rain being beaten
that way?
Where is her car?
What about her caring husband?
Taking another look at her, I knew that
I had to do something if I didn’t want
to lose her.
A puddle of water was already forming
round her and if care wasn’t taken, she
would be swept away completely.
I looked behind me, pulled my rain
coat from the back seat and put it on. I
turned the ignition key and opened the
door. Cold breeze rushed inside but I
had to do this.
As I jammed the car door, Mrs. Idile
looked up at me. She was shivering
severely. I noticed that her tummy was
protruding and I was shocked.
Mummy Idile is pregnant?…i never
Then, she smiled…
Oh that affectionate smile capable of
calming a raging storm no matter how
big in one’s heart!
But that smile…just like the one I saw
on Sunday…her lips were blue!
I ran towards her.
“Mummy!” I screamed, very scared. I
held her hand and they were like ice.
“Sister Precious” she called out in a
husky voice, still smiling.
“Mummy, what is happening to you?
Exactly what?” I asked, really
“It is well my sister” she said,
stretching her very wrinkled hands to
pat my back.
I withdrew from her touch
When did her hands become this
Jesus is Lord!
“Mummy, where is daddy? Why are
you alone?” I asked again, a weird
sensation running down my spine.
She smiled as tears rushed down her
Though it was raining, I still could
distinguish her teary face as her face
had gone red. She pointed at her left
side and I looked beside her.
Just beside her!…my pastor!
He was in a very small glassy shed that
looking comfortable, mere looking at it.
He was helping some men and women
to get into the same shed. He was
smiling, hugging and praying for them
and they were all happy together.
“What! Mummy, go inside” I shouted
out of frustration. She smiled and
shook her head in the negative. She
pointed to the shed and I went closer
to it. The inscription on the shed
almost made me mad!
What is full when I could still see
empty seats inside.
“Daddy!” I called out, very sharply. I
was enraged. The pastor looked at me,
very happily and opened the glassy
door for me.
“Come in my sister” he said but I shook
my head.
“I brought my car sir. But mummy is
outside. Can’t she come inside?” I asked
and he peeped outside
“Which mummy?” he asked and I
shook my head, greatly disappointed
“Your wife sir” he said and he smiled.
“Mummy would be fine. We have to
tend to the sheep first. If you notice, no
family member is in here. That was
why I sent all the children abroad so
that mummy can have time for herself.
I must work the work of him that sent
me while it is day, the night cometh
when no man can work” he said and
closed the door with a great thud.
I was shaken!
I looked behind me to look at her side
and I was shocked- she had fallen to
her back!
Lord have mercy!
I ran closer to where she was and
lifeless as she looked, I saw blood
streaming down her legs- she was
“Jesus, have mercy!” I screamed loudly.
I was so confused as to what to do. I
didn’t have any knowledge of
medicine, and I couldn’t even think
“What to do Lord? What to do?” I cried
as the rain fell harder.
I heard the sound of an approaching
car and looked back.
It was my car!
Who was driving it?
Why are these weird things happening
I was holding my car keys few minutes
ago. Where is the bunch of keys now?
The car door opened and a guy jumped
out- Tony!
I was astounded!
He smiled as he looked at me and
immediately wore a frown as he saw
Mrs. Idile.
I was shocked as I watched on.
I checked the cloth he was putting on-
exactly the same Ankara print as mine.
He was looking really good and the
rainfall was good on him- he looked
“MMR, leave way” He said as he
pushed me aside gently. He smiled and
gave me a big umbrella. I unfolded it
and it was big enough to cover the
three of us.
MMR? What was that?
As he held Mrs. Idile and felt her
temperature, I came back to life and
concentrated on the dying minister of
He felt her pulse with his stethoscope
and he looked at me, shaking his head.
Tears rolled down his face.
“What?” I screamed, throwing the
umbrella away. I pulled at his shirt and
he just shook his head on and on,
looking downwards.
“We lost her” he dropped the bomb
and I almost ran mad.
“Lost who?” I asked and he nodded
again. I screamed as I held on to her,
crying profusely.
“Mummy, I never knew you were
dying. I never knew you were in the
rain alone. I would have rushed here to
pick you up. I really would have” I
cried and as Tony pulled me with his
right hand, the rain stopped abruptly
and the people in the shed started
trooping out. They rushed to the corpse
and wailed, trying to console the
“Why console him? He killed her! The
pastor killed her!” I screamed with all
my strength as if my life depended on
how loud my voice was.
But nobody seemed to hear me…
I looked at Tony who only pulled me up
and assisted me into the car. He laid
me at the back seat while he entered
the driver’s seat. As he turned the
ignition key, the heater resumed work,
blowing with a very calming alacrity.
I sat up to check the scene I just left
and I saw them laying her down into
the grave
“Mummy Pastor! She can’t be dead!
Mummy Pastor! She can’t be dead oh

  • “Mummy pastor, she can’t be dead.
    Mummy pastor!” I screamed on and
    someone tapped my shoulder
    “Sister Precious” I heard my name
    clearly and my eyes opened widely. It
    was Sister Jane.
    So, it’s been a dream all these while?…
    Like seriously?
    I sat up and saw tears on Jane’s face.
    “Is it true?” I screamed. Smiling faintly,
    Jane nodded over and over again.
    “Mummy Pastor! Mummy Pastor oooo”
    I started screaming as I sat up from the
    pew in which I had slept off and
    started running to the back of the
    church as if being pursued. Jane called
    me back to no avail
    “Mummy Pastor ooo….somebody help”
    I screamed on and on until I looked to
    my left as I approached the exit door
    and I heard my name.
    “Sister Precious”
    Mummy Pastor’s voice!
    I turned to look around and there they
    were all gathered the women leaders
    with Mrs. Idile smiling wholeheartedly
    at me.
    “Is anything the matter my daughter?”
    she asked, smiling again- her very real,
    affectionate smile
    “Is this for real? Is this a dream too? Is
    that mummy pastor? Somebody talk to
    me.” I cried again as I walked to her
    side on the podium.
    Some women tried to stop me but she
    signaled at them to leave me alone.
    I went beside her, knelt down, felt her
    legs, touched her calves and hugged
    She hugged me too!
    “Mummy is alive!” I shouted childishly
    and the women murmured
    “Daughter, go and check yourself in the
    bathroom. Your cloth is stained at the
    back” she whispered into my ears and
    a cold wind of embarrassment ran
    through my spine.
    It’s the same day!
    That Sunday!
    I managed to smile at her.
    She smiled back!
    She signaled that I bend down and she
    dipped her hand into her bag to give
    me a white shawl. I wrapped it round
    myself and passed through the back
    door outside with the women’s eyes
    following me- I most assuredly guess!
    Sister Jane was outside and I frowned
    at her.
    “Why were you crying earlier on? And I
    still asked if it was a true and you
    nodded. You made me to make a fool
    out of myself today and it’s not fair!” I
    “I didn’t understand your question
    Sister Precious. I was only shedding
    tears of joy because I am happy for
    you. You obviously just had a vision.
    That’s something we had both been
    praying for you for a very long time
    now. You asked if it was true and I
    thought you were referring to the
    vision thing. I smiled happily and told
    you yes!” she explained and I hugged
    God heard my prayers!
    He spoke to me in a vision.
    But what does that mean?
    Mummy Pastor was smiling just so
    happily now that I saw her.
    I am still as single as ever, so why was
    Tony in the same attire with me?
    What was I doing in a wilderness?
    Despite the rough road, my car was
    able to still drive on as if on a tarmac!
    What does that mean?
    What is the problem between the
    pastor and his wife?
    Tony called me MMR…what’s the
    As I brought out my skirt from the
    spinner of the washing machine, I
    heard some rapid footsteps at the
    staircase and I listened.
    The pastor was making a call.
    “It’s a great privilege to do so for my
    wife my dear pastor. I am just going to
    dedicate this week to her. It’s her
    birthday and she has to be treated
    extra-wonderfully. Thanks for booking
    the hotel for us…we should arrive
    Dubai in the evening tomorrow. Let me
    tell her the surprise now…. My wife so
    loves surprises….hahahahahahaha…
    God bless you sir!…” he said on and on
    and I smiled happily.
    I trust my pastor!
    Ever romantic!
    That dream was just a useless one jhur!
    I had much to think about before I
    slept off.
    My pastor and his wife are just too
    anointed to have any problematic issue
    between them.
    I waved the dream off as I quickly wore
    my skirt, checking out myself in the
    “Sister Precious, do you wanna sleep in
    the laundry?” Sister Jane called out and
    I smiled happily as I tip-toed to the
    “I am coming right away mon amie” I
    said in a very musical voice- what
    happens whenever I am satisfied with
    something or extremely happy.
    But…my spirit stirred again!
  • We cannot join you together!”
    That was the response of the head of
    the marriage committee immediately
    Jean and I entered the church’s board
    room on Sunday.
    I turned sideways subtly to see Jean’s
    face and it was expressionless. He was
    looking indifferent. I sighed repeatedly
    but silently.
    As much as God wasn’t in support of
    this relationship and I was ready to
    obey His will, I still loved Jean and his
    expressionless face actually broke my
    He wasn’t going to miss me!
    Perhaps he never really loved me!
    Just then, while my head was bowed
    still where I stood, I saw some fluid
    falling to the ground and I was
    I looked up at Jean and he was totally
    broken! He had unknotted his tie, his
    eyes were closed and his hands were
    dipped right inside his well combed
    afro hair. The other hand held his
    tummy as he let out a squeak that
    shook the whole room.
    The four-man committee members
    stood abruptly, covering their ears with
    their hands. They looked really
    I could only watch on as I felt his pains.
    He squatted and started a real babyish
    cry and my heart shattered into pieces
    the more.
    Who does that for God’s sake?!
    Who leaves a man like this when real
    men are scarce outside?
    Only a foolish person would do so!
    Jean was a very good man. Even before
    I led him to Christ, he had really been a
    moral man. Never had he for once tried
    to touch me or played dirty with me
    during those times.
    Even the day he proposed to me, he
    was very shy to do so. It took the
    efforts of his daughter to help. He
    never took advantage of his
    I loved mature men!
    I hate ‘baby men’!
    And, but for his marriage to Beatrice, I
    would have loved to get married to
    him. I had really opened my heart to
    “You people don’t understand. You
    don’t!” he cried out again as he blew
    his nose into the handkerchief he was
    holding. The committee members sat
    down, still looking perturbed.
    “Understand what?” Mr. Hosanna, one
    of the marriage committee asked and
    the others nodded in support.
    “I had really endured a very bad
    marriage where my wife would bring in
    different men into our matrimonial bed
    and sleep with them right before my
    open eyes. If I dared to retort, she
    would send different touts to beat me
    up or even deal with me herself….” He
    swallowed hard and the committee
    members looked somber as he
    unfolded the story.
    I shook my head as I imagined the
    whole scenario.
    “I had a mixed feeling when she
    eventually travelled outside the
    country five years ago with another
    sugar daddy. I was happy to be free
    indeed but I hated sleeping around.
    What do I do?…” he paused as he sat
    on the floor. He looked really hopeless
    and a cold shiver ran down my spine.
    “I had really been weaned from all
    emotions and love until I met Precious.
    If I got married at 20, I should be able
    to father her but really, I love her so
    much. I was scared of another failed
    marriage but I trusted her and wanted
    to give it a trial once again…”
    “Marriage is not trial and error my
    brother!” Mrs. Hallow, one of the
    committee members retorted and Jean
    shook his head.
    “Probably my use of English sold me
    out madam. It wasn’t for a trial at all. I
    wanted both of us to have a real great
    future together and all was going well
    until this committee asked us to come
    back.” He paused again and sighed in
    “It was really worth the waiting as God
    met me and told me some vital reasons
    why this marriage cannot be. There
    was no way I could tell Precious and I
    felt we should get here first. Right now,
    it seemed that God had gotten here
    even before me” he said and the
    committee members whispered some
    things to themselves.
    “God had been here since my brother.
    He is the Word personified and we
    have the Bible. Everything is in there. If
    we go ahead and join you together, it
    would mean adultery. That’s what the
    Bible says” Mr. Lawal, another member
    “Then, what should I do? I should wait
    for a woman that had gone to join
    herself with different filthy men? I
    should?” he cried dejectedly. I
    understood his plight.
    I felt really guilty
    I shouldn’t have met him in the first
    I had opened up the closed wound in
    his heart again and poured fresh
    pepper on it.
    “My brother, marriage contract is till
    death do us part. As long as you are
    alive and she is alive too, there is no
    going back. You have to endure it.”
    Mrs. Hallow said again
    “Endurance! That’s the word!” Mrs.
    Idile said as she shook her head, her
    lips pursed
    Mummy pastor!
    What does she know about endurance?
    Some people just find it easy.
    The only thing she probably endured in
    her marriage was complaints about
    salt, not being enough or too much in a
    Mummy pastor sha! Very funny!
    “We still have lots of people coming in
    to see us today and the time isn’t on
    our side. We have closed your file and
    we want both of you to really go and
    pray with all fervency.” Mr. Lawal said
    with a large, comforting smile
    “My dear Bro Jean, I can feel your pain
    as I have been in your shoes. My
    husband left me for another woman
    and there were pressures here and
    there that I should remarry but I thank
    God for my pastor and his wife. Oh
    what a great specimen of marriage for
    our generation…” Mrs. Hallow paused
    and smiled, shaking her head in
    obvious appreciation while Mrs. Idile
    smiled too.
    A pure, sweet smile!
    “My husband is back to me. I have
    forgiven him and he is now a child of
    God. You would never know that
    something like that had ever happened
    between us if you see us together” Mrs.
    Hallow completed her own side of
    “And who knows if your wound had
    actually been opened now because
    your wife is on the way and so that
    when she comes, she would find
    something to nurse, thereby,
    strengthening your marriage?” Mr.
    Hosanna explained too.
    I looked at Jean on the floor and I
    smiled bitterly.
    He was shaking his head vigorously as
    tears streamed down his face.
    Does any of their advice makes any
    sense to him at all?
    “It would be hard but that’s why we
    have Jesus. He can help. Wait for your
    wife and pray fervently for her soul.
    Who knows, you may save a soul from
    hell!” Mrs. Hallow said further.
    “And you Sister Precious…”
    That was my name right?
    It was my turn to be lambasted for
    almost leading a new convert of mine
    astray even when I knew the truth.
    It was Mrs. Idile
    “My sister, God is never too late. For
    some people, he comes at twenty years
    of age, some thirty, some forty, some
    fifty, even, sixty! He’s never late! How
    old are you? I am sure you are in your
    mid-twenties or thereabout. Why
    would you rush? Do you know what
    marriage means at all? Marriage is a
    padlock with its key thrown away! Do
    you want to miss it? This one that we
    can still enjoy beautiful renditions of
    songs through you, if you are sad and
    unstable in your home, would that still
    be possible? Sister Precious, are you
    praying at all?” Mrs. Idile went on and
    on and I was daunted.
    There was an absolute silence
    That was from her heart- deep!
    I was speechless.
    I realized that I hadn’t said a word
    since it all started and I looked for
    something to say.
    “I love him…” I was saying when she
    cut me short again.
    She was never violent or lousy.
    Mrs. Idile!
    What was the matter?
    “Love, you say? Any sign whatsoever
    you have, be it vision, dream, deep
    love, revelation and all, should still be
    weighed on the word of God! Is God
    saying something to me in His word
    about this lady or guy? See, just like
    our speech could be influenced by the
    devil, out emotions can also be
    manipulated and used against God’s
    will for our lives” she explained and I
    looked at the Spilt Air Conditioner.
    It was working perfectly well. In fact,
    16 degrees Celsius!
    Why then was she sweating- profusely?
    Was it more than what was being
    I am being blessed by all she was
    saying but I was worried about her.
    Was all well with her?
    “Some marriages in the church are
    camouflages. They wear same outfits all
    the time, they seem to hug and peck
    and fan, wiping each other’s faces in
    the church and all and you feel, God
    give me a happy home like lagbaja’s!
    Do you know what is underneath? Do
    you?” she banged the table as the
    pimples of sweat on her face dropped
    on the table before her.
    The vicinity was very solemn.
    I looked around me and realized that
    everyone was taking what she was
    saying as just being a concerned
    Pastor’s wife’s palava. But I saw
    beyond that…something I would never
    want to believe myself.
    I saw deep hurt in her face!
    What exactly is the matter?
    Just then, the dream flashed back to
    my head and I shook it off once more.
    It can’t be real! It can never be real!
    “God will have mercy” Mrs. Hallow
    said, obviously touched by Mrs. Idile’s
    “Please, you both should go and pray
    more” Mr. Hosanna said too
    “You can go and may God make your
    ways golden” Mr. Lawal said and Jean
    stood up, supporting himself with a
    “Thanks everyone” he said silently,
    moving towards the door
    “Thanks” was all I could say as I
    approached the door too
    “Sister Precious…” Mrs. Idile’s voice
    called out to me. I turned back and met
    her face.
    So tender once more- smiling.
    “See me in my house tomorrow by” she said and I nodded
    “Ok ma”
    “I love you so much” she said further
    and my heart stirred.
    She smiled again- that very sad smile !
    My heart missed a beat!
    Something was just not right!
    “Welcome ma” my gardener greeted
    me as I parked the car, the lawn-
    mower he was using, making noise as if
    it was a tractor!
    I didn’t want to have a headache but
    my lawn actually needed trimming. The
    other staff members had left their
    lawns unattended too but I couldn’t. I
    just loved orderliness, beauty and
    neatness. Since the state government
    had refused to renovate our quarters
    for us, I got some money and had the
    painting done, the plumbing works
    attended to and now, the lawn!
    “Well done Mr. Bright. How work?” I
    greeted as I pulled the boot lever under
    my car seat.
    “Work fine o madam. It’s just this sun”
    he complained. I smiled. I looked at the
    back seat and took a bottle of ‘five
    alive’ juice. It was very cold.
    “Catch this” I said and he looked
    behind him. His face shone as he saw
    the drink. With open arms, he received
    it as I threw it and then he shouted for
    “It’s chilling” he said and I smiled.
    Mr. Bright and his ‘wonderful’ English
    I opened the boot and brought out the
    hamper inside it- an Easter gift for
    senior staff members in my
    department. I was privileged to be
    I took my veggies basket too and
    walked towards the door.
    Gosh! It’s already two o’clock and I had
    to be in Pastor’s house by four.
    I really have to be fast o.
    I had a really weird appetite while at
    I just stumbled on a movie where they
    were eating coconut rice and an idea
    came into my head. On my way home, I
    had bought cucumbers, cabbage, leeks,
    tomatoes, fresh paper, mackerel fish
    (My best), and some coconuts.
    I bought enough coconuts because my
    hair seemed to be losing its vitality. I
    wanted to make enough coconut oil
    myself since the homemade is better
    than the adulterated ones being sold.
    The s—t from the coconut oil and the
    coconut water was what I would use to
    I was already salivating!
    After I finished preparing those, I
    would have a very cold shower and
    then set out for the pastor’s house.
    Few minutes later, the aroma of my
    specially prepared coconut rice filled
    the house. I looked at the bowl where I
    had poured the coconut oil
    That should be cold by now!
    I quickly sent a ‘BRB’ to everyone I was
    chatting with on Facebook, WhatsApp
    and BBM- I really loved chatting.
    I poured the coconut oil into different
    bottles and set them aside. Then I
    turned off my gas cooker and opened
    the pot- Hmmmm, indomitable meal!
    Oops, 3.30pm!
    I ran into the bathroom and richly
    soaped my body. As the shower rained
    down the thin streams of water upon
    my hefty body, I felt a tickling
    sensation and I chuckled repeatedly. I
    was somewhat happy- but about what?
    I had really had a lot to do that very
    day and though I was fatigued, I had to
    go and see my pastor’s wife for
    whatever it was she wanted to see me
    What could she want to see me for?
    My happiness waned away as I jumped
    off the bathroom into my bedroom
    where I performed the normal beauty
    rituals and wore a very cool colored
    evening gown.
    “Mummy will join you shortly Sister
    Precious” Abigail, the housemaid told
    me and I smiled at her.
    The best treble part singer in our
    “Do you mind a bottle of Charis wine?”
    she asked and I nodded
    “No, I don’t mind please” I said and it
    was soon delivered in a tray. The
    phone on one of the tables rang and
    Abigail picked the receiver
    “Hello ma…it’s alright ma.” She said
    and looked at me.
    “Mummy said you should come into
    her room upstairs” she said and I
    looked surprised.
    Who am I in that church?
    What is my post or position?
    What have I done to deserve entering
    the room of my pastor’s wife?
    Oh, that would be a very delightful
    honor for me!
    If the other parts of the house could be
    this beautiful and gigantic, I wonder
    what the bedroom would look like.
    The staircases leading upstairs were
    sparkly neat!
    I was told to take off my shoes and I
    slipped into some furry slippers before
    stepping on those staircases.
    God, I’ve got to be rich o
    Lord, I ask for the riches of Job but not
    his sufferings o abeg.
    I laughed at myself for making that
    kind of selfish prayer request but if you
    had the opportunity of coming into this
    place, you would conclude that heaven
    must be too goldenly beautiful because
    this house looked like paradise.
    I knocked the door
    “Please come in” I heard the voice and
    I opened the door.
    Oh, that sight!
    The room was indescribable!
    I wanted to run outside and confirm
    that I was still in the same house I was
    just coming from but I maintained my
    The room was disorganized. The settees
    were not well arranged and there were
    clothes hanging on the chair, around
    the necks of the gigantic wardrobes,
    beautiful shoes were scattered all over
    the floor and gasped.
    “Sister Precious” I heard that voice and
    I was geared back to reality. I was lost
    in my own world of irritation and had
    forgotten why I was here.
    I looked at the bed where the sound
    was coming from and I almost ran
    “Mummy!” I called out, really surprised
    and she smiled sadly
    “Good evening” she greeted and I
    couldn’t hide my shock and despair.
    Her head was neatly scraped- totally!…
    like a widow in her mourning mood!
    The gown she was putting on was black
    and she didn’t look like the normal
    mummy I knew. Tears gathered in my
    face as I looked at her.
    “Mummy!” I called out in a heart-
    renting way again as I ran to her and
    fell on the bed, holding her hands as I
    “Mummy, what’s wrong?” I asked in a
    very sorrowful way. She smiled but I
    saw the tears welling up in her eyes.
    “I wanted someone to clear up my
    room for me. And I chose you” she said
    calmly and I broke out into a serious fit
    of crying.
    Mummy needed help to clear up her
    Oh my God!
    I scanned the room and I cried again.
    Whatever it was that was happening to
    mummy pastor was very serious!
  • Oh my goodness!
    Oh my God!
    I looked at her.
    She wasn’t crying
    She had tears in her eyes but they were
    not falling. She looked really worn!
    I stood up, removed my long evening
    gown and thank God my undies were
    moderate enough, I set to work even as
    I cried ‘Oh my God!” repeatedly.
    After rearranging the furniture and
    returning the books to where they
    were supposed to be, I hung the neat
    clothes and dumped the dirty ones in
    the large laundry baskets. I saw a
    vacuum cleaner.
    There is even a vacuum cleaner? Oh my
    I ignited the machine and it swallowed
    all the dirt on the floor for me.
    I went to the bed and faced mummy
    “Mummy, let me lay the bed” I said and
    she sighed, held the pole on which the
    bed lamp hung with great difficulty and
    then stood up. I saw that protruding
    The dream flashed back to my
    She’s pregnant for real! Oh my God!
    I pulled a plastic chair for her and she
    sat inside it with care.
    As I pulled the large, heavy white-
    turned brown duvet off the bed, I saw
    already used tissue papers. Some were
    very dry, some were still wet.
    I dumped the duvet into one of the
    laundry baskets and the tissue papers
    fell to the ground- they could make a
    She must have cried loads and from the
    look of things, it didn’t just start
    By the time I was done with the laying
    of the bed and all, the five large
    laundry baskets were filled and the
    dustbin was filled as well.
    “Carry everything and drop them
    outside the room. Abigail would come
    and get them outside. This is the first
    time anybody would enter this room
    apart from my husband. Even my
    children are not allowed to. I just
    needed an urgent help and my spirit
    pointed at you. Thanks so much.” She
    said and I could only nod as I did as
    I then pulled the curtains, dusted the
    window panes, sprayed the air-
    freshener and switched on the split air
    conditioner while I wore my gown
    She smiled
    I shook my head and my jaws dropped.
    “Mummy, it’s time to get back into
    bed” I said again and she tried to stand
    up but couldn’t. I went closer to her
    and pulled her up.
    Oh how light she felt in my hands!
    As she hid under the new laid duvet,
    she signaled for me to sit down on the
    chair adjoining the bed which I did.
    I was not happy!
    What exactly was happening?
    What’s the smiling pretense?
    Does she think I am a baby?
    “Sister Precious, could I perhaps call
    you Precious?” she asked, humbly and
    my heart softened and I forced a smile
    “Definitely ma” I replied and she
    smiled again
    “Thanks my daughter.” She said and
    looked into my face. I looked into her
    eyes as well
    That was all I saw- No hope
    She took my hand and though her hand
    seemed beautiful and fresh on the
    outside, it was scaly as she touched me.
    “It seems that you know something
    about me, Precious” she said and I was
    “Ma, I don’t know anything o, nothing!”
    I retorted quickly.
    What was she saying?
    “That Sunday, you were shouting my
    name, looking for me all over the
    church. You even screamed ‘She’s alive’
    when you saw me. That?” she looked at
    me with a ‘So, what are you saying’
    kind of look and I shook my head.
    “Ma…” I was saying when she cut me
    “During the marriage committee
    session, while I was talking, why did
    you look into my eyes so penetratingly?
    Tell me if you know something please. I
    need to know” she squeezed my hand
    as she pleaded, tears streaming down
    her face.
    Oh mine!
    What do I have to say now? I really
    don’t know anything at all.
    “Precious, when you look into my eyes
    as you do, what do you see? Please tell
    me. I am sure you know something.
    Tell me exactly what you see that
    others don’t. What you see that my
    fellow women leaders don’t, what
    exactly you see that even my children
    don’t. What you see that my…my…even
    my…my hus…husb…husband doesn’t
    see” She pleaded further, stuttering
    greatly and I shook my head
    That’s it!
    Exactly what I wanted to know!
    Something was very wrong and no one
    knew- not even my pastor!
    But what’s it?
    This suspense is killing me Lord Jesus!
    She smiled again and I could not help
    but speak my mind.
    “Mummy, for real, all I see is fear,
    loneliness, frustration, pain, hurt,
    despondency, dejection, depression. All
    I see on a closer look is negativity
    mum! That’s all I see and I don’t
    understand why it should be so” I
    blurted out. I was tired of seeing her
    that way. She looked so weird.
    Even her haircut was scary…bare!
    Her big tummy
    Her untidy room
    Her hurtful face
    Her smile!
    Oh how much beautiful and expensive
    attires cover the problems of so many
    We only look at their attires and envy
    We look at the hats and say, oh
    Not knowing that a sorrowful bare
    head hides underneath.
    Lord Jesus!
    “Thank you for saying your mind my
    daughter. Thanks, thanks, thanks o,
    thank you, thanks” the more she said
    the words slowing, the more they
    tugged at my emotions. The more I
    wanted to know where the problem
    laid and put an end to it.
    “Mummy, what is the problem with
    you? Talk to me. I can handle it. I
    might not be able to proffer solutions
    to the problems but I can help share in
    the burden. Talk to me ma” I pestered
    and she smiled.
    “I will talk to you and that was why I
    chose you. But…” she was saying where
    the phone rang and she picked the
    “Yes Abigail…good…lead him upstairs…
    thanks love” she said and dropped the
    receiver. She looked at me and smiled
    “You have to go now Precious. I will
    see you some other time. I need to
    attend to someone now. Its urgent.”
    She said as she unwound baby wipes
    and gave to me. She took some too and
    wiped her face. I did the same too.
    What could the problem be?
    As the ‘what’ questions filled my head,
    I could not think straight anymore.
    Was she dying?
    That would be scary because she is still
    very young!
    Where was her husband?
    As I fumbled with the baby wipes in
    my hands and descended the stairs, my
    shoulders hit someone who was going
    upstairs and I just bowed in apology as
    I walked away.
    Something struck me hard and turned
    back to look at who just walked past
    He was at the door…that stature…oh
    how familiar!
    I racked my brain so tirelessly but it
    didn’t come to my mind who it was.
    As I turned the ignition key of my car, I
    relived the stature again and oh yes!
    What was Tony doing in there?
    Tony was just a serving corps member
    nah…exactly why would she send me
    away because she wanted to meet
    “I am sorry. I just seemed to find out. A
    medical doctor would just know.”
    Those words rung in my head like I had
    never heard them before.
    Tony was a medical doctor!
    Oh geez!
    The dream relived and I remembered
    how Tony bent to examine the dying
    Mrs. Idile in the dream.
    Could that be what it meant?
    The dream was all about this?
    Or had Mrs. Idile been shown that Tony
    was my husband and she wanted to put
    in good words for me so he would pray
    about it?
    I shook that idea off!
    How childish that thought of mine
    was…she obviously wouldn’t do that!
    Oh my God!
    I dug my hands into my hair again,
    sighed so deeply, turned the ignition
    key and as I drove off, I remembered
    my coconut rice
    “To hell with you dear rice.” I said
    loudly, my tongue turning sour.
    I had lost my appetite.
  • Just praise me in advance…
    Those were the words that woke me in
    the very hours of the day and I just had
    to forgo my sleep and started to thank
    I had woken up with a start and there
    was a kind of peppery sensation in my
    I was so shocked and surprised that I
    felt that way because I had not taken
    beans or its products during the day
    neither did I eat heavily at night. Even
    if I did, I wasn’t suffering from
    heartburn or asthma so what was the
    problem with me?
    Throwing my beautiful, furry cover
    cloth aside, I stood up from the bed
    and scurried to the water dispenser. I
    pressed the ‘hot’ button because only
    hot substance could clear the rubbish
    that had gathered in my heart- I
    What is this oh God?
    Are you trying to say something to me?
    As the cup got filled up with the hot
    water, I looked over at the wall clock.
    Just 2.30a.m and I was awake…it was
    As I gulped the water down my throat
    and it burnt me right where it
    mattered, I looked up at the ceiling.
    Let me even give a thought to my life
    right now.
    Does my life even have direction at all?
    Does it even seem as if I am making
    headway at all?
    Something whispered to me so
    convincingly but quietly-
    ‘Count your blessings and it will
    surprise you what the Lord had done
    for you!’
    As I gulped the water down, it felt that
    I was gulping freshly ground pepper
    down my throat. The sensation did not
    subside. In fact, it became worse!
    Something was tightening round my
    neck- for real!
    Jesus! My Lord Jesus!
    Is this death? Is this what it means to
    I am but a child. Why do I feel this way
    oh God?
    I dropped the cup on the water
    dispenser and dragged myself back to
    the bed. My eyes dilated really badly.
    The hold on my neck tightened and my
    eyes became teary. As I gasped for
    breath, almost surrendering to
    whatever force it was, I fell to my
    knees, holding my neck in anguish and
    “God have mercy” I cried out on my
    knees, my voice already going croaky.
    You are in the right position to pray!
    The voice was distinct and I wasn’t sure
    if that was God or my conscience.
    To pray and this is what I’ve got?
    That’s the mistake you make daughter.
    When you pray, you are not doing God
    any good but yourself!
    Who holds your life in His hands?
    “It’s God. Only God does” I said weakly
    Who can kill both the body and the
    “It’s God alone” I moaned
    All the leadership positions you have
    held since your primary school days
    were made possible because of whom?
    “It’s because of God o. Who am i? Who
    am i?”
    I started crying.
    The realization suddenly dawned on
    me that God had woken me up in the
    night to pray and because of the pains;
    I had reflected over my life and
    concluded that I had really achieved
    nothing in life which God found wrong.
    If I had woken you up without you
    having any discomfort, would you have
    Would you find yourself crying and
    praying fervently as you do now?
    “No sir. Oh my Lord! I am sorry. I
    never realized that I had created no
    time out to hear you. I am sorry Lord” I
    cried still.
    God was speaking to me!
    It felt so real!
    It had never ever happened to me
    before and I was thrilled.
    I listened and listened again but I heard
    no voice again. The discomfort had
    gone and I was wide awake.
    I started to cry.
    I really hadn’t taken God seriously in
    my life before this time- just the
    ceremonial devotion thing and
    ceremonial activities of going to the
    church and all that.
    I had always had almost everything on
    a platter of gold- everything I had
    achieved had been in an easy way.
    I graduated with the best WAEC and
    NECO results in the whole federation
    and I had been on different forms of
    scholarships till I graduated from the
    University of Kent, Canterbury.
    Afterwards, I graduated as the second
    best student in the University of Kent
    and I proceeded to Harvard University
    on recommendation and by merit.
    I decided to have another Master’s
    degree because I felt time was still on
    my mind and I wanted more certificates
    and all- I had that at the Kwame
    Nkrumah University of Science and
    Technology, Ghana- on scholarship
    My parents had really never spent
    money on education for me. I had
    always been their pride- though I never
    exhibited pride or anything of such.
    I just felt I was just being favored but I
    had never ascribed all the glory to God!
    It escaped my mind that every little
    success that a child of God gets are as a
    result of the backing of the Almighty
    God and that we were supposed to
    send the glory back to Him for all He’d
    I started all over again, thanking him
    for my past successes, my parents, my
    siblings, my students, and oh mine oh
    mine, I had enough things to thank God
    It was really shocking that I had that
    much to thank Him for when I thought
    I had never experienced His touch in a
    long time.
    …and oh the peace that followed!
    The joy from the over two hours’
    thanksgiving prayer session I had
    lingered for hours as everyone could
    notice it. I wore a very beautiful smile
    throughout the day- it was like a
    permanent plastic surgery!
    “I would go to the school’s studio to
    have a photo-shoot after the school
    activities because the smile sure fitted
    me” I had thought to myself.
    I had just ended a lecture with the
    300Level Students and as I left the
    class, I hung my school bag around my
    neck and bounced out of the social
    science block.
    “Aunty Tomboy looks really glad today
    That was what my very sharp ears
    heard as I walked down the park to get
    my car.
    “Abi, she’s falling in love ni?” another
    voice asked and I heard a chorus,
    scornful laughter.
    “Love ke. Abeg jhur…the only thing I
    like about the woman is that she sabi
    teach. Ah, if it’s that one, I give it to
    her. But romance, love, marriage,
    mba!” another person said
    My heart started to race as I struggled
    within my heart about what to do.
    Should I look back at the students and
    shout at them to stop it?
    That wouldn’t be good because if I
    should sight them, I would so hate
    them uncontrollably!
    Should I hear more from them?
    That won’t be nice!
    It’s better to just intensify my footsteps
    and disappear from them.
    But I didn’t obey that instinct. I wanted
    to have more of their stories.
    “Who does she remind you of?” one
    asked again
    “Hmmm, let’s say Serena Williams”
    another answered
    “Yes! That’s very correct! I had never
    even thought about it that much” the
    third person said
    “She definitely works out. All these
    hard jobs, you know? Weight lifting
    and all…” one was saying again and I
    balled my fist in anger.
    See how these children are finishing
    me- right in my presence!
    I could hear them very clearly.
    Did they think I was a dummy or a deaf
    They were not even making attempts to
    reduce their voices.
    Work out?
    Weight lifting?
    What did they know about me?
    Was that how bad I now look?
    These students could so kill somebody
    o. they could show me love like
    anything in the class and outside the
    classroom, my stature was being
    Nawa o!
    “So, except she becomes a baby mama
    or she marries James Bond o, forget
    marriage jhur. Who wants to marry big
    hefty mama and call her wife” they said
    again and I was mad.
    I just walked really fast towards my
    car, opened and entered.
    My head was in a kind of disorder.
    There were stuffs like cobwebs hanging
    as curtains in the room of my head and
    I couldn’t think straight.
    I placed my head on the steering and it
    took loud, repeated knocks from some
    passers-by at my car door to raise my
    head up again.
    What was the problem?
    My head that was on the steering had
    caused the horn to be blaring loudly
    and the parking lot was in disarray as
    all eyes were on me.
    I just bowed and waved in apology!
    The joy that I had started the day with
    had melt away like a candle beside the
    I needed to just leave this place- but
    where to?
    I was confused and afraid and
    discouraged and all but I didn’t know
    the right thing to do.
    I zipped my school bag and brought out
    my hand mirror, opened and checked
    myself out.
    I wasn’t that bad- in fact, I was so so
    Or maybe it was a full mirror I needed.
    I turned the ignition key and drove off
    to the bank beside the Accounting
    Let me quickly have a look at myself in
    a large mirror because it seemed my
    bathroom mirror had lost its potency
    and accuracy.
    The bank building was glassy so, I
    could just use the opportunity to use
    the ATM and have a good look at
    There was no queue.
    Thank God.
    I moved to an ATM slot and stayed in
    front of it.
    I had grown really fat!
    See my chest, oh my goodness!
    I am really a gorilla with this hairy face
    of mine.
    What do I do?
    No wonder my straight skirt could not
    fit in properly this morning. I
    condemned about four skirts before I
    was able to select the one I eventually
    I withdrew some cash and returned to
    the car.
    While in the car, I quickly switched on
    my Wi-Fi and switched on my phone’s
    data connection.
    I was going to search for her!
    What was that name again?
    I racked my brain so much…
    Oops, my brain…was I getting old that
    this brain no longer wanted to obey
    Yes! Serena Williams.
    Google search loading…
    I clicked on the images and looked at
    She was exactly my look-alike!
    I started saving some of the images of
    the gowns she wore to special
    Even if they were not too decent, I
    would make mine decent
    Done and dusted, I smiled to myself as I
    adjusted the rare mirror.
    I was not going to the studio anymore
    because my plastic surgery smile had
    even disappeared, so of what use
    would the photo-shoot be?
    It was time to change the course…
    I decided to go to the —
    Boutique to pick up some beautiful
    and then…
    The Gym Centre!
    I zoomed away with such great alacrity
    and determination because contrary to
    those students’ prediction, I wanted
    marriage- a very beautiful, romantic,
    godly, heaven-bound marriage at that!
    May God help me.
  • THE END.

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